There but for the grace of God go I

I heard some dreadful news today and I can honestly say that stories like these cut close to the bone these days. A young girl died at her school from an allergic reaction, feel free to read more here. My heart goes out to her family and friends as no child should ever die at school. Actually, if I had my way no child would ever die, I personally feel that reaching adulthood should be a given. To quote inaccurately from The Lord of the Rings Trilogy "No parent should ever have to bury their child."

I suppose in my case I feel this twice over as my parents had a daughter before I who they lost before she reached one year of age and the grief that stayed with my mother for the rest of her days was immeasurable. She never said a word to us about it but she would take herself into her room on my sister's birthday every year and just have some time to herself. She blamed herself for the loss of her daughter for the rest of her life and I find this devastating. No one should have to go through that.

What makes me even sadder about the loss of this little girl is that the blame game has already started. Naturally the parents have questions about what went wrong, but instead of getting those answers there is a undercurrent of blame being placed at the parent's feet. I don't know all the ins and outs, I don't even live in the same country as this little girl, but the one thing I know in my heart of hearts, something I can say unequivocally is that my husband and I take better care of our children than anyone else. I can say this because I am also a teacher and while I cared about those students in my care, the feelings I had for them are completely over shadowed by the love and care I display for my own children. So don't go blaming the parents of this child because I can guarantee you nobody and nothing can make them feel any worse than they already do. What ifs will be thought about from dawn til dawn and wounds will run deeper than any that have been before. Instead show them support, love and empathy. Walk a mile in their shoes.

Also learn from this devastating situation. Talk about it openly with others, share strategies with parents whose children don't have food allergies. WE as the adults are advocates for our children and no matter how many eyes are rolled, faces are pulled behind our backs or battles we have to face there will be people who are there to support us, who want to learn more and who will champion our cause as well. Please speak up and out for the little people who so often don't have the words to say it themselves. And last but not least hug your wee ones a bit closer to you tonight because there but for the grace of God...